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The Ted I Knew

by Dominic Hamilton-Little

charm... in the moment it was all about the drama of being the Star-misunderstood and not appreciated; with troublesome directors I just heard from Vince Gatton that Ted and fans wanting, wanting, wanting, and never Bales died this morning at 10:42. giving in return. There was the desire to be admired (him by me, me by him) and the thrill of feeling like world weary actresses, who always needed to be on-and who thrived by being on. Two whose life breath was the sound of other people's laughter, appreciation and applause regardless of the personal cost.

I feel so strange about this. I am shocked definitely. And yes, I am sad. But it is not the unalloyed melancholia one feels when someone famous whom one has liked has died, nor is it the intense heart heavy load one feels on the loss of a dearly beloved.

Yet throughout the day I cannot stop thinking about Ted. The friend I had with whom I shared a certain something. Perhaps all those who knew him felt they knew Ted in a certain way. It is a skill of very charming people: to make each friend, and often even mere acquaintances, feel like they are in on some special secret.

I had had problems with Ted ever since I'd thought he was lying about being HIV positive. And before this, we'd always had a sort of Davis & Crawford style relationship-which continued even after we'd bonded over drinks one night at Gentry and discovered (to our mutual surprise and delight) that we actually really enjoyed each other's company. We were both "high flying, adored" in Chicago in the mid-early '90s; both tall, too-thin, funny queens who would frequently be desexualized on a regular basis by lesser gay men for not being fashionably 'whatever. Both dreaming of a fame we believed was our birthright, and both fiercely jealous of our finely honed skills. Fortunately for me, the last time I saw him we made a peace. Perfectly/typically it was at Cleo's a saloon in the theatre district-about a year ago I suppose.

He had a catheter in his chest and had had problems with his heart (primary pulmonary hypertension) and of course with his liver (the hepatitis that had knocked him flat right before Party left Chicago). But still he wouldn't say a word to me about "the AIDS"—either because he was being grand and not deigning to discuss it with me because he was offended by my doubting him, or maybe because he felt it was best not to enter that discussion.

There was so much about Ted that one didn't know... which I suppose was part of his

Letters

Kellogg memories

You might recall in the early 1990s, many folks in the g/l community considered offensive a TV ad for Kellogg's cereal. At that time Kellogg's refused to acknowledge the ad as offensive, refused to pull the ad, and refused to apologize to the community for the ad.

I know that from that time to the present, large numbers of us have refused to purchase Kellogg's cereals. I have also noticed that since that time, Kellogg's has consistently lost market share. When the most recent drop in market share was announced, I wrote a note to Kellogg's pointing out that the company might regain a large block of potential consumers who were boycotting its products waiting for an apology for that advertisement.

The answer from Kellogg's follows. Gil Belles, Macomb, Illinois Thanks for sharing your comment about our

Turn to page 28

Weirdly I was just reading my review of his NY debut in David Dillon's Party ... I gave him a rave I am happy to recall. But then of all the things people might have said about Ted, no one ever doubted his ability to spin a phrase or even to confect a silent solitary moment on the stage-into twenty-four carat comedic gold.

Our paths were very, very similar... so I suppose it was inevitable that we should admire each other but occasionally not actually like or trust each other.

I am sad that his duplicity pushed him away from people, and that I pulled away. (For what it is worth, though he died as result of his heart trouble, it turns out he was HIV positive after all, not that it matters now that he is dead). But I am more saddened that the world has been robbed too soon of another one too young to die. Particularly one who was so screechingly, agonizingly funny ... even when (occasionally) stealing other people's material. The fact is, he is now not around to make another audience laugh.

Nor is his arachnid form-tightly wound, leaning forward, flipping his hair back, gripping a cigarette and drink, his wide mouth waiting to express amusement-present to be an audience for me.

He was always the one I wanted to amuse above all others. I felt that if I made Ted laugh then maybe I really was funny.

And even though he may not be around (to bump into unexpectedly over a drink), I'll always wonder if he would have laughed at something unusually perverse and hilarious with which I'll have shocked others, or reduced them to silence-two sins of which he was never guilty.

Ted Bales in 'Party.'

PASSAGES

Last week, we reported on the death of Ted Bales. The following is more complete information now available on his life and death.

Ted Bales: Oct. 19-1964-Feb. 10, 2000 Ted Bales, an actor, comedian, and writer whose tremendous comic gifts dazzled audiences across the country, died Feb. 10 of complications from primary pulmonary hypertension at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital in New York City. He was 35 years old.

Ted was most widely known for his performance as the outrageous, Karen Carpentercrooning priest in David Dillon's hit comedy Party. After originating the role in Chicago (where he received a nomination for a Joseph Jefferson Award), he went on to astound audiences and critics in productions in New York, Los Angeles, Miami, and San Francisco. Stephen Holden of THE NEW YORK TIMES said of him, "Mr. Bales' performance in this scenery-chewing role is a comic tour-de-force equal in range and power to Nathan Lane ... ." All told, Ted chewed that scenery for more than 1,100 performances.

Born in Chicago, Ted grew up in Park Ridge, and attended The University of Iowa before transferring to the Goodman School of Drama. After finishing his training, Ted spent many years writing, directing, producing and acting in the Chicago theatre community, notably in the NeoFuturists' Too Much Light Makes The Baby Go Blind and in his two one-man shows, Surrender and Beyond Surrender. He was particularly proud of co-producing and co-directing Operation Pride, a benefit for the Human Rights Campaign.

Ted made his television debut guest starring on ABC-TV's Grace Under Fire, and in 1997 wrote and starred in another one-man show, Ted Bales: Lost in the Stars, which ran in Chicago and San Francisco. He final stage performance was in Chicago in The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged).

The night before he fell ill, he watched the ABC-TV movie Mary and Rhoda, leading some who knew him well to speculate that, having seen Mary and Rhoda reunited, he could die happy.

Ted is survived by his parents, Ted and Barbara Bales of Park Ridge, and three siblings. Ted felt deeply about his parents' decision to adopt him; donations to Catholic Charities Adoption Services, 651 W. Lake St., Chicago, 60661; the family also supports their son's commitment to AIDS causes and urges donations to AIDS charities.

Candidate DOUBLE-DATING

You're GAY aren't you? I COULD TELL!! I'll order for both of us since THIS ONE forgot his note cards, plus he wouldn't talk to you anyway!

I wonder if they have any good home-made ple like I had in, where Was it now?.... OH, I KNOW! SOUTH CAROLINA! Bitch.

MAIN

RON WILLIAMS BWTOONS@ aol.com

I believe in your right to serve openly, so I'm going to let you order FOR me!

OH PLEASE! As if he's going to believe anything You say! (Watch him, he DRIBBLES!

BILL

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